Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
