I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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