Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
