oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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