I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
