So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
