I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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