Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
