dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
