Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
