i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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