Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
bring money and cleavage
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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