i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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