508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
