Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The best revenge is premature balding
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
