Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
