her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
