We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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