I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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