Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
