He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
They have beer where we have blood.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
