i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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