Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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