i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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