So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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