she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
