do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
