Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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