you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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