why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
