I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
