Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Let's paint friendship bongs
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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