How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
