if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize