Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
