thus making me awesome and them whores
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
foreskin is a definite game changer
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
