So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my liver is dry heaving
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
