I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
