i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
