His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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