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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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