It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
