Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
