another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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