Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
