So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
