We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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