Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
