i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
