Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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