I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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