Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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