I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
