Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
