did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
