How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
