Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
