The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
