Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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