wanna go halves on a baby?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
